Ally P and Me

An introduction to my Diffuse Alopecia Areata (DAA)

For as long as I can remember, I have always suffered with thin hair. Throughout my teens I was always paranoid of having patches in my hair line which meant you could see right onto my scalp. I went to the Dr’s numerous times because I was adamant it was a Thyroid problem, as that runs in the family. I must have had about 10 Thyroid tests from the age of 16-18 and it always came back negative. Despite this, I still convinced myself this was the cause and never even imagined the possibility of Alopecia.

Back then, I was still confident with getting my hair wet in front of people, going on boat parties, swimming, shower sex? pfft, never heard of it – all those fun water-y things that I now cant enjoy. A little example of how bad it can get now: I went on holiday with my Boysh in 2017 to Beefa (one of the best holidays i’ve ever been on), and we did a boat party one of the days. Of course I wasn’t going to miss out on that, because I love my Boysh and wanna make memories with them (i.e. witnessing one Boysh chundering into a plastic bag on top deck). But, as all boat parties do, they had water flying every where, hoses galore. I remember spending 60% of the party below deck, trying desperately to not have a panic attack in front of a 100 randomers. Instead, I just sat staring at the water through the window, necking the free cocktails. So yeah, water events are a huge no no for me now :(. In my teens, I was confident with having straight hair with no additional styling chemicals, aside from the odd bit of hairspray and backcombing (scene kid vibes). It wasn’t until my early twenties when I began to notice a significant change in my hair loss, which meant I took to the crimping approach. << FYI, this is why to most of you I have “African fluffy hair” lol.

In 2012, I started University, which for most can be a mega stressful time – this was often used as the diagnosis towards my hair loss – loada shit really. Uni wasn’t a stressful time for me at all, I just winged it and enjoyed the experience. During this time, I noticed my hair was thinning more and more over time and just crimping it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t down to my own acknowledgement that my hair was thinning, it was mostly down to comments I would receive by strangers. Two events which will forever stay with me are: the first time I went to the Army vs Navy Rugby match I was walking in front of a group of people and one girl was laughing and announcing to her friends about how I was going bald. The second was around the same time and the same comment, but I was walking home through Guildhall Walk. It’s small comments like this that made me realise I definitely had a problem, and I can probably pin-point this to the moment my mental health problems began. From then on, my hair has always been a huuuuge insecurity of mine, and will forever get me down. Not all encounters are negative though, the reason why I named this blog entry as “Ally P” is because that was my nickname to some Navy guy I met during the 2018 World Cup. He politely asked me what was up with my hair line and I drunkenly explained I had Alopecia; he was so nice in his reply and nicknamed me Ally P from then on. God knows who the hell he actually was, I just remember calling him John Boy from Peaky Blinders. So John Boy, wherever you are, thanks for being the first person to ever make me feel comfortable about my Alopecia.

There are some things I have done in the past to promote hair growth which have cost me a hella lot of money, one being Mesotherapy. I am still unsure if I convinced myself it was working because it was £100 a session, or if it was actually working. Every month I basically had 100’s of small protein injections into the mid layer of skin on my scalp; it didn’t really hurt at the time but afterwards my head would throb and be sore. I find, if you suffer some form of hair loss you are going to have to be willing to spend an awful lot of money towards finding what makes you feel good.

I have tried so many cheaper methods over time that will cover up the bald patches in my hair and I have finally found something that will do for now – Batiste Dark Dry Shampoo. I don’t even know how much money I have spent on different shampoos and hair serums that have “Biotin” or “Hair Growth” formulas. They ain’t gonna work Hun, because I have an Autoimmune Disease which ain’t going anywhere. So yea, that’s my secret – crimping, and a fuck ton of Batiste on my scalp. It probably isn’t the most healthiest thing to put on my scalp, but there is absolutely no way I can step outside without it. The only people who have seen me post hair wash and at my most vulnerable are my closest girl mates who I can trust to not take the piss. However, below I am going to put pictures up of what my hair looks like post wash and turban dried, absolutely no crimping or products. This is fucking huge for me, because I am finally going to show people what I believe is me at my worst, all because I want to prove that you should never be defined by your hair loss. So many people I know, mostly men, get ripped by their closest mates for having a receding hairline, or going bald, or thinning hair, and I don’t think their mates realise how damaging these words can be. We live in a society where appearance mainly defines our attractiveness, and I’m fed up of hair loss having such a negative impact on peoples lives. I’ve suffered for 8 years at least and had about 88 ‘2007 Britney’ moments, but now I think that if someone doesn’t find me attractive because I’ve lost 50% of my hair (and what they see below), then its their problem, not mine. Psychologically thinking, it is probably the reason why I’ve started to fall in love with my body and feel sexy, because I don’t get the same feeling from my hair.

Okay so, here is what my hair literally looks like post wash and sleeping in a turban. You can probably see why I don’t go to water parks, or get my hair wet in public now. Though, if you look at it and find yourself thinking “wow I’d have never known”, then I clearly have succeeded in being the number one Catfish of all time – Hello Nev? I want to self report for being sus. Scribbled my face out, because I’m already doing myself dirty by presenting my Alopecia, I can’t reveal my face too. I just hope that people who suffer with the same struggles know they’re not alone – let’s try to normalise hair loss shall we!

Manda x